May 30, 2008
I’ve been in Idaho for the last little while visiting my family. I was there for my step-sister’s high school graduation. It was also the first time that my dad (or step-mom or step-sister) had the chance to see me since December when I announced that I was expecting. Six months will change a lot on an expecting woman!
I adore my family. We’ve had a lot of rough patches and for a while I doubted that my step-mother and I would ever be able to tolerate each other, but now things have smoothed out and I really feel very comfortable with them. And boy do they ever make me laugh.
Let me set the scene for you. We’re in the living room. My sister (Kimberly) and I are on the couch. My step-sister (Brenna) is on the computer a few feet away from us. My husband (Derek) is in another room down the hall with headphones on and the door shut. My parents (Dad & step-mom Susan) have just returned home from their second job at a local winery and they’ve imbibed a little bit of their product.
Susan to Brenna: Bren, hon, why are you keeping that water bottle? (As she points to an oddly shaped water bottle on the desk.)
Brenna: I kept it because it looks very phallic.
Susan: But, you’re 18, you don’t know what phallic means, right? You don’t know what that means! Right??
Brenna: It looks like a dildo.
Susan: And you don’t know what that is either. Of course you don’t.
Brenna: What? A dildo? Of course I know what it is.
Susan: Stop saying dildo! (As she gets progressively louder.) Stop saying dildo!
Susan: STOP SAYING DILDO!!
At this point, she’s loud enough that Derek has heard the yelling through the closed door and over the sound of his PSP through his headphones. He ambles out of the back bedroom.
Derek: Uhm, why are we yelling dildo?
Susan: Ah! Stop saying dildo!
My sister and I are in hysterics laughing on the couch and my dad is just shaking his head. We also have a tendency to have very inappropriate dinner conversations about breasts and various sex toys including a sex swing that came up in conversation this last week.
I love. love. love. my family.
January 23, 2008
It doesn’t seem to matter how many different places you work or the different types of work that you do, the same people are always there. Different names and faces, sure, but they’re all the same. So you tell me- are these people unique to call-center work or, like I suspect, are they to be found everywhere?
The Brown-Noser. You can’t tell me that this guy isn’t in every workplace. This is the obnoxious co-worker who spends more time kissing the ass of the person in charge than they spend on their own work. Don’t you think that putting your nose to your work and being accomplished would work better than ass-kissing? You and I might think that, but our friendly brown-noser would rather go about things the smarmy way.
The Interrupter. You’re having a conversation with another co-worker when all of a sudden you have a new voice popping in. “I couldn’t help but overhear…. but *I* think….” Yes. Please. Tell us what you think. Again. Then go away! This person can’t help but interject themselves into every conversation they overhear, usually finding a way to relate the conversation to themselves.
The Mutterer. Our neighborhood mutterer can’t work without walking themselves each step of the work process. Out loud. At a volume just loud enough to annoy you, but not loud enough to validly complain about it.
The Music-Man. Or woman. This person whistles while they work. Sometimes they hum. Sometimes they do both. Either way, you want to smack them. Usually, they’re tone deaf.
The Hand-Raiser. This person can’t stop asking questions, usually during meetings. I entirely support questions, but only to a point. When you spend half of a work meeting listen to the same person ask the same question in ten different ways? You’ve had enough. The hand-raiser doesn’t seem to understand that they’re not only wasting the boss’ time, but everyone else’s there. Ask your questions afterwards and let the rest of us get back to work.
Now, this next one is probably something you wouldn’t usually encounter unless you work in the type of office environment that I do, but perhaps you have encountered Speaker-Phone Addict. In my job, we have headsets. They’re provided by the company. For free. They’re not particularly attractive, but you’re in a cubical so it isn’t like people are checking you out all day. And uh, everybody wears them. Speaker-Phone Addict refuses to use not only the headset, but also the handset and prefers instead to make all their calls on the speaker-phone, letting all those ring-backs and busy signals, fax tones and voicemail be heard by the entire row of cubes. You work three feet from your neighbor. Don’t make them hear your work on top of doing their own.
Last, but not least, is the Odd Duck. This is the co-worker who treads a thin line between wearing work appropriate clothes and looking like a hobo. If female, they may have a preference for 80′s colors, side ponytails and bad make-up. If male, they may like ill-fitting black jeans and oversized button up shirts. They say random things and crack jokes that nobody else gets. Everybody humors them, but most prefer to keep their distance. Fortunately, if you can get past all the strangeness, this person is usually one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.
So. Who works in YOUR office?
January 7, 2008
Last night I was having a very difficult time falling asleep, likely due to the four hour nap that I’d so smartly taken, waking up just mere hours before my usual bedtime. I tossed and I turned and I finally decided that counting sheep was the way to go. I lay on my back and counted, slowly in time with my breathing. Out loud, to annoy Derek, of course.
Derek, in turn, decided to help me in my sheep-counting ventures by playing the role of wool-covered smelly creature. Between each number he would let out a loud, “baaaa.” This, however, was simply not convincing enough, and he felt he needed to add in the act of leaping over the fence. Me being the fence. The problem was that these sheep were particularly lazy (he says clumsy) and had a bad habit of not clearing the “fence,” landing instead as jabs into my arm.
Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep last night. Baaaa.
December 30, 2007
So yes, if you hadn’t gathered from the previous post, I am now an expecting mother. Wow, that’s crazy to write. I’ve known for a few weeks and the knowledge still hasn’t entirely sunk in.
Derek and I are both very very excited. I’m a little more scared than he is, but hey, he doesn’t have to figure out the most painless way of removing a small child from his body. Lucky him. My official due date is August 7th, so I think that means that we are officially on a timeline of when things need to get done around here!
I am still going to Italy, I have doctor approval, I just can’t indulge in Italian wine. A bummer, but I think baby is worth the sacrifice.
With this news, my new year resolutions have certainly changed a bit. I think that losing weight is uhm, a bit out of the question at this point. At least not until September. Quit smoking. Well, that was done the day I found out. So for 2008, I think I need some new resolutions.
-Keep the pregnancy talk to a minimum. Really, I know, it’s only that fascinating to me and other people in my boat.
-Stay healthy. This is more important than ever. I am going to be religious about watching what I’m eating and trying to ensure that I keep this baby as healthy and as happy as can be as long as its home is in me. Wow. There’s a baby in me. Holy shit. (Yes, it still catches me off-guard.)
-I resolve to have my house baby-ready by mid-July. The walls HAVE to be painted and the new floors HAVE to go in. Derek has promised to finish this while I’m in Italy, which will be wonderful if it’s done by the time I return.
-I also resolve to have the most amazing time on my vacation and to let it be all about me me me. I’m going to have a hard time with me me me for the next few years so why not give myself one more chance to really enjoy myself?
On another note, my last resolution is be a little less self-involved and to be a better friend. As of late, I’ve had so much going on that my friendships have all been a little neglected. I would really like to remedy that.
I hope everyone enjoys their new year celebrations! Happy New Year!
December 17, 2007
It’s hard to believe that one year ago, I had been sitting in a waiting for 15 some odd hours waiting to hear that my friend’s son had been born. A year! Now that sweet boy has taken his first steps (they’re still working on the consistent walking bit) and he has a small, but clear, vocabulary. I feel so lucky to have been able to be such a part of Sawyer’s life and I can only hope that I continue to be near him to watch him grow and develop and learn. He’s amazing. And now he’s one. Happy birthday, Sawyer. May there be many more to come!
May 10, 2007
I’ve thought so much about what I wanted to say on this week’s blog-off topic, friendship, that I didn’t even get my post up yesterday with everyone else’s. Shame on me. I still haven’t figured it out, so pardon the lack of a thread to tie this post together neatly.
Friends are a double-edged sword to me. Considering how much I’m willing to share (especially in a public forum like this blog), I’m surprisingly private, particularly with my emotions. I’m terribly afraid to let people in because in the past it’s gotten me nothing but heartache. I don’t say that to sound bitter and jaded, but I honestly have found that when I let someone in, I get burned.
I have a few close friends that I hold dear and I cherish every moment that I spend talking to them, being with them- being friends. I also like to stockpile acquaintances. There’s nothing I love more than having someone to chat with at any given time because there’s a lot of people around. The problem with that lies with my first point- that people terrify me. A lot of people don’t understand my need to slither away and be by myself for up to weeks at a time. Sometimes I just like to go to work and then come home and be alone.
It’s hard to blend my personality with others. It’s that awkward conflict between wanting to be a social butterfly and wanting to be completely reclusive. My favorite friends are the ones that just are. The ones that I can go days or weeks without talking to and then when we do talk again, it’s like we were never apart. I value that kind of person. I love knowing that no matter where I am, no matter how far they are- they’ve got my back and should I call on them, they won’t even question the time we spent apart.
My friends have gotten me through some very rough patches. My friends have forgiven me when I’ve been a complete oaf- if they’ve even bothered to acknowledge it. My friends support me even when I don’t make the same choices they would have- or even choices they can agree with.
My friends are my backbone and as much as I dig my alone time, I love having them to come home to.
April 8, 2007
For a long time I’ve bemoaned the fact that I’ve had three cats, three cats too many, in my much too-small apartment. We’ve had long-time problems with our oldest cat, still young at just five years old, and for the last two years we’ve talked about finding a new home for her. We never managed to get the courage to do it.
We started talking seriously about it again because her problems were worsening. Daily we were finding evidence that she was ignoring her litter box and she was constantly being hounded by our other cats. Our poor Sadie was not a happy cat.
We mentioned the problem to Derek’s sister the other day, casually asking if she knew anybody who wanted a cat, and for the first time she said yes. She did actually know someone. Her friend had been asking for a cat for a long time and for her birthday, the plan was for a bunch of friends to get her one.
We talked about it and confirmed that Sadie would be in a home with no other animals- something we feel she has needed. She loves attention and we think a lot of her problems stemmed from sharing too small of space with too many other animals. Our attention was divided and she didn’t like it.
Yesterday, Sylvie came over and met Sadie for the first time. There was an instant connection and despite my sadness at losing my cat of five years, I know that she’ll be happier with Sylvie than she could be in this home. Plus, she’s gone to a friend of the family so I can check in and keep tabs. Always a perk.
So now my cat count has decreased to two and I’m a little sad. I hope I’ve made the right choice.
On another note of goodbyes, we lost Dirka Dirka to the voting process in the Blog-Off this week. Stay tuned for next week’s posts and another go-round of voting!
March 26, 2007
It’s that time of year again! Your birthday! We’ve been together for more than five years now and every year that we’re still strong, I marvel at you. You were never immature in the first place, but you have still shown amazing growth. We married young and I think a lot of people think we were crazy for saying our vows at twenty-one, but you really stepped into the role of husband. That couldn’t have been easy when all of your friends were still unattached and out for good times.
You made a lot of sacrifices for me, including moving away from your country, all to be closer to your girlfriend. To your wife. We’ve seen some really hard times financially, but you so rarely showed your discouragement. You just kept working away and striving to keep us afloat. You’re my rock. You’re my best friend.
Enjoy your day today. Take it easy, have a good time. Here’s to many many more years of challenges, laughter, and love.
March 2, 2007
Tyler, my cousin, was five years old the last time I saw him. We were at Disneyland and he terribly wanted to go on Big Thunder Railroad, a rollercoaster that all of the adults and us older children figured he was much too young for. He pleaded, cajoled, and wormed his way onto the ride despite our best arguments against it. When the ride was over, he climbed out of the seat in tears, crying so hard his poor little body was shaking. When we tried to comfort him, he squirmed away and stomped his foot. “I want to go on it again!”
I haven’t seen him since then. He’s got to be about twenty now.
February 17, 2007
A few years ago I posted about a journal that I keep sporadically. It’s called my Reasons To Be Happy Journal and it’s not much, just a collection of one-liners and inside jokes amongst my friends and I.
The original purpose was for me to have something to pull out when I was feeling my worst and remember all the good times, hence, the reasons to be happy title that seriously needs to change. When the book started, I was a completely different person.
The very first entry reads, “God loves me!” Yes, even the exclamation point. In fact, the first three pages are primarily variations of that very sentiment. He loves me, he loves you, the bible is great, the bible is good, blah blah blah.
If you know me at all now, you know that I’m just not that person anymore. I respect those that are, but uh, so not for me. I was reading through it tonight and I thought that it needs an update. It’s even written in an ugly flowery journal with bible quotes at the bottom of every page.
I took out a much sassier leopard print journal and began re-writing, but three pages in, I stopped. I couldn’t do it. I was losing the handwriting of the friends who had written in it- friends who have long since come and gone. I was losing a whole chunk of my life by cutting out the “god bits.” Besides, it’s a little bit funny to read about me praising how nobody can take my bible away from me. Good lord. No pun intended, large eye roll included.
I think it’s healthy for me to remember how far I’ve come; healthy to remember the places I’ve been and why I’ve left them.
The meaning behind the quotes and jokes may have changed, but they still make me smile so the book is still serving its purpose.
***Reason #147 To Be Happy: ‘Cause we’re sexy chicks. (Added by Kari in 2001)***