Christmas In The Ghetto

December 19, 2007

Once every year, the tacky Christmas fairy swings by our ghetto-fabulous apartment complex and vomits up some Christmas cheer in our lobby. The decorations don’t change from year to year, they just seem to… multiply. They’re hideous.

One of these decorations is a ghetto-fabulous Christmas tree. Well, someone apparently REALLY liked the tree because they packed it up and carried it home with them. Right after this tree disappeared, a sign went up in our elevator. It was a very polite, but stern sign. It said something to the affect of, “Our Christmas tree has gone missing. Could the person who removed it, please return it the lobby.” A few hours later, a second sign joined. This sign said something like, “Will the Scrooge who took the tree please return it, no questions asked, as it is for all of the Elm residents to enjoy.” The third note (all three have been left in the span on 24 hours, mind you) had me laughing my fool head off.

Guess the tacky Christmas fairy is a little ticked off.

*In case you can’t read it, the note says,

WHO
IS THE LOW LIFE
THAT STOLE OUR
COTTON PICKING
CHRISTMAS TREE???

WHOEVER YOU ARE
IF OUR CHRISTMAS TREE
DOES NOT RETURN
IN TIME FOR OUR CHRISTMAS
THEN YOU RICHLY DESERVE THE
KARMA THAT WILL
UNDOUBTEDLY BE VISITED
UPON YOU!!!

YOUR MOTHER MUST BE VERY
PROUD OF YOU!!!???

BY THE WAY, HOW DID THE LIKES OF
YOU GET PAST THE FRONT DOOR
ANYWAY???

Fuck, I can’t stop laughing.

Posted in Holidays | 8 Comments

  1. Rachel

    That’s hilarious. You should send that to passiveaggressivenotes.com.

    My office building decided to put Christmas themed centerpieces on the bathroom counters this year in addition to the (dying) poinsettias and Christmas tree in the lobby. Someone stole the candle out of the centerpiece in the first floor women’s restroom.

    December 20th, 2007 at 6:37 am
  2. Nathan Pralle

    Some little grinch is gettin’ a cap in da ass for Christmas, methinks.

    December 20th, 2007 at 7:09 am
  3. dawnmarie

    I was going to say the same thing as Rachel. hee.

    December 20th, 2007 at 9:53 am
  4. Megs

    You’re killin me here, you know that right?!

    So…. uh…. what’s new? :)

    December 21st, 2007 at 10:26 am
  5. Dawn

    Lmaoooo, thats just hilarious!

    I cannot for the life of me think what would happen if a notice like that went up in OUR lobby, though we do have one that says “Artificial Trees Only.”

    Our lobby decorations are just as tacky and awful as every other building in our area it seems lol.

    December 22nd, 2007 at 11:28 am
  6. Courtney

    Rachel- I’ve never seen that site before, I should totally submit it! That’s awesome.

    Nathan- The Christmas tree is down, but all the signs are missing now.. maybe it was resolved uh, internally? :)

    dawnmarie- Isn’t that funny?

    Megs- I know. :)

    Dawn- No really, ours are BAD tacky. Like… ew.

    December 22nd, 2007 at 7:25 pm
  7. Vegas Princess

    HA HA HA HA HA HA!! I love how each note gets a little more vicious but still kinda polite with no dirty words.

    December 23rd, 2007 at 7:10 pm
  8. Courtney

    Vegas- I know! The tree is still gone, but all the notes are ripped down. Maybe the note-writer had second thoughts? Or as Nathan said, maybe they took matters into their own hands. Heh.

    December 24th, 2007 at 1:16 am